© 2018 by Helen Chen

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It's Not Black & White

                    by Karen Zhang

I have always had a problem with finding a place to belong. Some of the difficulties was due to my Chinese-American heritage, as my first generation immigrant parents were not very knowledgeable in foreign culture. Most of my childhood friends were white southern girls, and while I had some fun and memorable times, I did notice the cultural gap that separated me from them. When I visited China with my parents, I expected to feel more at home. Yet, there was also a divide as I struggled to understand traditional history, slang, and culture that I have missed. This made me feel alienated by both parts of my identity, to the point where I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. During this time, I was also constantly moving. I have lived in four different states, and now attend boarding school in Alexandria, VA. I kept having to say goodbye to my friends, start new schools, and live in new houses. This warped my definition of “home”, and even to this day, I can’t say where “home” is for me. Sometimes I want to go back to Statesboro. Sometimes I want to go back to Boston. Sometimes I wish I grew up in China, where I actually belonged. I am still in a grey area of confusion. While short, this manga describes my journey of loss and discovery. I am still trying to find somewhere I belong, and I hope EHS can be the place.